Bitter Sweet

Well.... as of five minutes ago, I am officially finished with school. All of my assignments are submitted, papers written, finals taken. I'm kind of a part of it still, but I already miss college. What an amazing experience. I definitely grew up a whole hell of a lot during college. It is pretty incredible to see how much I have stretched my boundaries as a person, yet feel like I could go back to school, and learn new lessons all over again. I really don't think I have taken my last college course. At least I hope I haven't. If we aren't learning we aren't growing. I am very hopeful about my future.

Even though I don't have a job yet, for the next five minutes will I feel like I accomplished as much as I could in my 4 years of schooling.... that is until I go outside, turn my car on, hear a screech and realize... "You don't have enough money to fix it". That's when reality sets in that I am broke and I can't say "HA!, I'm a college student, therefore I am broke."

Well, until next class. Thanks college, you were incredible. Not what I expected, but so much more. I will dedicate my efforts down to road to making sure people get the same opportunity I just had.

- Don't Stop Breaking Down the Doors -

Kam

Lucy

Today we had to put down my favorite dog in a long long time. Lucy, she was 14 and had been battling a brain tumor for the past year. Her eye had been bulging since June, went away.... then came back worse more recently. I am glad my sister got to see her before she left back to California. It is pretty wild how Lucy made it until Katie came home again, then took a turn for the worse the day she left. I don't think I will ever forget holding her in her final moments. It was bitter sweet. I am glad I was there, holding her, whispering in her ear the moment she died. It was the first dead I have seen from beginning to end. It was strangely calming to watch her go and hold her through it all. She will be sorely missed, but I can rest easy knowing she is pain free and happy.

It was really nice to have my sister in town for Thanksgiving. It's funny how old friends and family can always get together and pick up right where they left off. It makes saying "See ya later" so much easier. Today has been full of goodbyes. I HATE goodbyes, I wrote an entire blog post about it when I got back from St. Thomas. They are never easy for me, but I have come to enjoy the pain; knowing that if the goodbyes were easy, I probably wasn't cherishing the time I had with them enough.

Hard goodbyes are the best goodbyes because you know you had a good time.

Cherish every moment, no matter how ugly or bleak.

 

Don't Stop Breaking Down the Doors

Kam

POW!

Things are getting to be pretty hectic again! I am doing my best to hang in and put my head down to finish school on a high note. 21 credit hours and 2 internships is starting to kick my butt! On the bright side of things, this might actually be the first semester of my life that I get a 4.0. Learning as much as I could has always been my priority. It hasn't been just getting an "A". I think a 4.0 would be a fun way to finish my undergraduate career though!

This week is pretty hectic, I had a meeting with Tom Kelly (who I assist in my internship up at USSA) to see if there is a chance to have a job up there after my internship is over. After the meeting, thing's didn't initially look so great. I spent my Friday night filling out job applications.... pretty exciting I know.  As luck would have it, I got an e-mail from Deer Valley Ski resort saying that they want to interview me this week! The position would be as their Communications Coordinator. Full time, salary, benefits. All that big boy stuff. It is so surreal to think that in two months I could have my first real job. Excited, nervous, stoked.

Deer Valley is always ranked in the top 5 ski resorts in North America and to be able to start my career in Public Relations there would be.... well.... a little like starting a hike 50 feet from the top. Wish me luck this week!

As always,

Don't Stop Breaking Down the Doors

Kam

Last few weeks

The past few weeks have been quite a wild ride. Prioritizing my life a little bit professionally in hopes to hopefully have a career right when I finish school. It's weird to start planning for the next big step in life so soon. Less than two months of school left and then I will be done. Luckily I saved some of the my fun classes for the end of my undergraduate career.

I think I finally got a hold on what has been making me sick. After an EDG and a colonoscopy, doctors determined that everything looks normal.. After eliminating all wheat and nuts from my diet, I am finally getting back to full strength. It is weird feeling like I am recovering from something with no other visible signs other than having lost 14-16 lbs in the past two months. Unfortunately I think most of it was due to atrophy. Just a few short weeks to push hard and get back in great shape before the ski season officially begins. I am stoked as ever to get on the slopes again this year.

It feels good to finally feel well after months of low energy. Having energy to exercise and work hard feels amazing. Things seem to finally be looking up for me a bit. Grateful, stoked, ready.

Here are a few shots from my wilderness photography class I took.

We visited Capitol Reef National Park in Southern Utah for a weekend to do some light painting and simple nature shots. Hopefully some of the tricks I learned this past weekend will help me shoot some sweet ski shots this winter!

Don't Stop Breaking Down the Doors

-Kam

Nope

It has been a long time since my last posting. A LOT has changed. I feel like I have aged 2 years in the past 6 months. Lots of change, lots of questioning myself. For anyone who has followed my blog/social media over the past few years, a lot of it is nothing but positive. Which is great, but lets be honest.... it's not always a reality. Sometimes I don't think I can even pretend that everything is OK. I'm beginning to learn that its OK, if everything isn't OK or doesn't appear to be OK to others.

Over the past 2 months I read "let my people go surfing" by Yvon Chouinard, Found out I was allergic to wheat, and all nuts, started an internship, picked up a side job helping a friend market a YouTube channel, become the VP of PRSSA at the U, watched a friend go through a divorce, tried to figure out how to stay in touch with my now long distance sister, watched my friend struggle with his own fathers suicide, lost some of my favorite professional skiers to avalanches, just to name a few.

It finally hit me the other day that, I have been missing out on a lot of the little things that I loved so much by making myself as busy as possible in order to achieve a better job once I finish school this December. I pushed my limits and I have found my limits. I'm not sure exactly what sparked the discussion within myself, but I have been contemplating simplifying things for a while. It never really seemed like much of an option until recently.

Like a snake, I have begun to shed a my excess skin this past week. I will no longer be working at Solitude Mountain Resort as a ski instructor. I am taking at least this season off to focus on myself, get lost in my skiing and to have fun with friends and family over the holidays. I just finished writing the e-mail that I am resigning as the VP of the PRSSA club. Those two aren't much, but they are definitely something. I have a tendency to be too much of a "yes" man when it comes to work. Sometimes you just have to say no. I'm exhausted constantly and on edge about work and school frequently. For someone who lived on an island, I have lost a lot of my island life. It's time for me to simplify. I just want to say publicly that I love dad Rob, mom Sue, sister Katie, girlfriend Courtney, family and friends. Without your love and support I would likely be in a lot worse state. It feels good to finally feel like I can focus my efforts on what matters most in life - the people I share it with.

Here are a few photos I have taken with my new camera. I quite like telling stories through pictures.

http://www.adventure-journal.com/2014/10/essay-thoughts-on-honoring-the-dead-and-the-living/

Don't Stop Breaking Down the Doors

-Kam-

Tired to the max

SOOOO unfortunately I did not hear back from USSA this week like I was supposed to. Not sure if they forgot or if I didn't get the position. BUUUUUUT I have found myself in what seems to be a similar situation to the one I was in 2 years ago when within 1 week I had said that I was moving to Alaska but found out I had an interview with a paragliding company.

I was expecting to hear from USSA by Friday and didn't. As my luck would have it, I heard from SNOCRU who I had applied for an internship with a few weeks prior to USSA. They want to interview me next week...... If I take that spot I will still be working in Park City 3 days per week but will get $500/month and a free ski pass (not sure where yet). UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Without having a "job" this semester money is going to be really tight with just my internship. Decisions Decisions. If I get accepted with USSA, I know I will have some of the most valuable connections in the ski industry.....worldwide. If SNOCRU wants me, I get more money, a free pass and will be in a small business again, which I loved at Super Fly. It is all up in the air for me right now. I have no idea what to think.

Finding out you are allergic to Wheat and Nuts (2 favorite food groups), interviewing with 2 dream jobs, starting a 20 credit final semester of school, re-launching PRSSA's chapter at the University, playing Jr. Plumber re-installing a sink for the first time, chasing a lost dog only to have her get the runs all over my shoes and shorts while carrying her home, working out some big family issues all in the past 5 days has really been tough. As they say, when it rains it pours, when it pours for me... its damn near Noahs Ark status. So much good, So much bad, Such little time. It will be interesting to see how things go this next week. Pumped, nervous, sad, stoked.... a little bit of everything. I think I am ready. If I can make it through this next semester alive, I can't help but think there will be a lot of light at the end of this tunnel.

It's not the end of the world, but it sure feels like the weight of the world.

Don't Stop Breaking Down the Doors

Kam

Hard to contain

Well, the day after tomorrow I will be interviewing at 9 AM for an internship position with the United States Ski and Snowboard Association................ Wait what?!?! I cannot believe how incredibly lucky I am. Courtney first clued me in to the opportunity through the UofU's career search website. Searching for something a little bit more from my Fall semester (as if 19 credit hours and 1 internship wasn't enough) I found a few cool opportunities. I applied with a ski company called SNOCRU, they have developed an app that allows you to see stuff like max elevation, max speed, altitude gain/loss, apre ski bars and food and lots more. I heard back initially, but have yet to set up an interview. Hopefully they contact me soon.

Until then, I have my sights set on one thing. Not completely losing my mind at my interview on Monday morning. I am literally going to walk into a building where all of my idols train and hang out on a regular basis in preparation for the Winter Olympics. The Center of Excellence, where I would work if I got the internship (fingers crossed) has a skate park, foam pit, trampolines, indoor XC treadmill just to name a few.......... A F*****G FOAM PIT AND SKATE PARK. Just thinking about it gives me goosebumps. Somebody pinch me. This cannot be real. If I am fortunate enough to get the internship, I will probably cry. If whoever interviews me is reading this, I'm sorry for swearing and please choose me.

Great little trip up to Lava Hot Springs, ID today. Our original plan was to go sailing, but ugly weather had us searching for something warm. I love spending time on the road with my girl. Time stands still when we are in a car together. We laugh, we sing, we read, we don't say anything at all. Just being together on the road exploring and seeing new things makes us happy. So thankful for Courtney and the incredible adventures we continue to share together. Oh, she just got a job working at MSI again, and will likely have a full time job working action sports competitions once we graduate AKA, she's awesome to the max.

Wish me luck!

Don't Stop Breaking Down the Doors

Kam

The big decisions

Ever since I was a little kid I have had the hardest time making decisions. Luckily my parents forced me from a young age to start making big decisions. Sports have always come natural to me, but wanting to participate has not. I will never forget the day when my dad was going to take me to soccer practice and he gave me a huge lecture about decisions, because I really didn't want to go. That day I looked at my sports in a whole new light. My dad stepped away as the parent who would force their kid to go to practice. If I didn't want to go, there was no trying to convince me otherwise. He would simply just let me not go. I don't think I will ever forget stepping onto the field for practice or games for the first few times and telling myself.... I am here. I am here because I want to be here. I made this decision on my own and I am ready to perform.

I think that lesson will always stick with me. It has been reaffirmed a few times throughout my life. Most notably by a woman in St. Thomas named Ernie. She was an artist, free spirit, well off, former high school art teacher that learned to live life the way she wanted. She ran her art gallery in the vestibule just outside our shop. She never would tell us how old she was, but our co workers let us in on the fact that she was somewhere in her late 80s to early 90s. She moved with such grace, questioning everything, interjecting often, but always welcoming with a smile and a high pitched "Alright" whenever she lent us her ear. She as she said in her own words "Doodled all the way to the bank". We for some reason believed her, maybe it was her sense of fashion, or maybe it was the 5000 Cartier watch she wore. You'd never know it, by looking at her that she was well off. She seemed to encapsulate the soul of the Caribbean people, but unlike many in the USVI, she reflected that energy back into whoever she was with.

Recently I was faced with a hard decision. One of the most consequential decisions of my life. But the weird part was, it didn't really have a whole lot to do with myself. I have been doing research for my internship all summer. I have learned a hell of a lot more about what it takes to bring a product to market successfully and how to keep it successful. Last week I had to tell a single, recently widowed mother of 2 that we (the University Student Media Department for which I intern in marketing and PR) can no longer assist her in bringing her product to market. This lady had spent her life savings inventing a product, overcome hardships, only to be told by some university student that "after months of research, I have found a few serious legal holes in your products packaging and we are not equipped to help any further."

Of course the e-mail was more in depth, the thoughts were lengthy and the explanations were on point. For some reason it really felt odd knowing that I was going to send an e-mail to someone that would surely be very disappointed upon reading it. Sometimes the right decisions in life aren't always easy and as I am slowly becoming more aware of the idea that, When someone makes a poor decision, sometimes you just have to let them live with the consequences. My roles within my internship will no doubt change in the coming weeks. But for some reason I don't think this will be the last time that I have to be the bearer of bad news on a decision like that. It has been an interesting journey. I think I am well suited for PR, but I am still questioning if it is what I am meant to do.

For now I will just keep searching for my purpose.

Don't Stop Breaking Down the Doors

Kam

Road Trippin

Wow... It has been quite a long time since I updated my blog. My apologies to anyone who has been hoping to hear more sooner. I just got back from a 4400 mile road trip yesterday. I am a little exhausted, there is way too much to talk about. It is a bit overwhelming. The places I have been and the things I have seen in the past 22 days leave me speechless. I wish I could write it all down, the emotions, smells, sounds, sights. Its just too much. All I can say is go, if you have ever wanted to go on a road trip, why are you waiting? GO PLACES. I really cannot stress enough how great it is to live somewhere that is safe and allows me to travel. Being confined to a city or small geographical blip on a map would be extremely hard for me.

If you have the freedom to travel. DO IT. If you are not free, find a way to become free and go for a while. Get lost somewhere completely new to you. It is exhilarating. End rant.

I promise a longer post when I get the time and energy. But for now,,,,

Don't Stop Breaking Down the Doors

Kam

On the cusp

Cusp - a pointed end where two curves meet, in particular.

As I go forward in life it seems like I am always on the cusp. I recently had to tell Super Fly that my time was coming to an end. My typical 20 something year old way of thinking had me wrong. I thought I was invincible. As it turns out, 9 months of 45 hour work weeks, 1 internship, 15 credit hours at school and a girlfriend finally caught up to me.

I couldn't do it any longer. I enjoyed my time at Super Fly a lot. I learned some very valuable skills that I hope to never forget. 

It has taken weeks to finally feel like I am back to my old self, FULL of energy. It feels great. In two weeks I will be on the open road for 3 weeks with my girlfriend exploring the west. I can't wait. It's an interesting feeling, knowing that in 4 weeks my outlook on many things will certainly be changed.

I CAN'T WAIT 

- Don't Stop Breaking Down the Doors -

Kam

It's been a while

It has been a while since I updated my blog. Being able to sleep in on the weekends is AMAZING. I am finally recovering from my work/school schedule the past 9 months. It feels great to start feeling better. I haven't felt this energized in a LONG time.

There are some big things on the way. I will update once I learn more about what is in store for my future, but for now I will just leave you with some photos of my recent travels and adventures.